3 months in as a stay at home Mom and I absolutely love it, but am also having a hard time with it.
Before I begin, PLEASE know I am not complaining, I love every moment of being a SAHM, I am just trying to figure out the balance in my head.
Here’s what I love
- Spending time with Gavin
- Even though it is the “old school” gender thing…cooking and cleaning for when Adam comes home, I kind of love the responsibility and enjoy keeping “house.”
- Having coffee time a few days a week with my Mom
Here’s what I am having a hard time with
- Knowing that hubster is at work doing all the “providing” (yes, I have nicknamed Adam hubster)
- Having so much time in the day, but feeling like I still don’t get enough accomplished
I have found that the Mommies in the Mommy groups I belong to on Facebook, are becoming my friends (even though we live all across the US. I can write about anything and they are always supportive and know exactly what to say…even if it is at 4am after my 3rd time waking up.
I get frustrated when On Demand and Netflix don’t work because it is the characters of my TV shows that keep me company (just the dialogue makes me feel like the house isn’t so empty) Now I know why soap operas were such a big hit with our Mom’s but thank god for the DVR, how time consuming to have to rewind and fast forward a tape player
I try really hard to make fun meals, or something a little more complicated then the basics…almost to prove to myself and hubster that I am doing enough (even though he says I am doing plenty)
My vegetables out on the patio are really growing. It is cool to be able to make a salad with my own Kale and Tomatoes.
When Adam gets home, I go to the gym for an hour.
But when all is said and done, I still don’t feel like I am doing enough. I feel like I have to justify even to myself every little thing that I am doing so in the end, my list is long and I feel worthy of staying home.
I have a daily chore chart that I made myself..it sounds ridiculous when I type that, but alas it is true. Monday I do the clothes laundry and organize the closets, Tuesday I clean the bathrooms and the floors, Wednesday I wash the sheets and towels and clean out the fridge/ kitchen cabinets, Thursday I make the grocery list and dust and Friday I do whatever is left. Every 4th day I clean the cloth diapers. Daily, I do the dishes, straighten up, take care of Gavin, water the plants and do my 30 minute in home workout when he is napping.
Here’s my problem, when I make that list, to me, it seems like not enough.
I take the car 2 days a week to run errands, meet my Mom for coffee, go to a Mommy group meeting or just go roam around Target.
I work with Gavin on the floor…reaching, rolling, laughing, grabbing (developmental stuff)
I’ve been sewing a little.
I’m trying to blog everyday…our readers kind of disappeared when we moved back to Florida.
We go to the swimming pool to dip our feet in.
And, once again, this list, doesn’t seem like enough.
I know as Gavin gets older, his needs will change and this will keep me busier…but until then…
Are you a SAHM? What does your day look like? How do you convince yourself that you are doing enough to provide?
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