Adventures We Seek

9 Things That Frustrated Me in Korea Today — An Honest Expat Bad Day in Busan


I love Korea. I genuinely love it. And today Korea drove me completely up the wall — so I am writing about it because that is what blogs are for.

I know it might seem unbelievable, but we have bad days. Today, everything that we warned you about in our, I wish I’d known blog, has completely eaten away at me.  As an expat, sometimes we revert back to, In _______ (insert your home country here)… Today that is what I did. We have moments where we wish that the customs and attitudes and everything was the same, but then we remember there was a reason why we left and why we love where we have landed.

I am writing a disclaimer… I love living here. I love the country and the people…as you can tell from our blog and previous experiences. But at the moment I am having one of those days where I want to lose my mind!! I am sharing because that is what we do with blogs. Please know that if I read someone else’s blog that complained like this I would tell them to get over it, move on  and stop complaining… advice taken I promise.

Here’s what annoyed the crap out of me today.

1. almost got hit by a stupid scooter as I was crossing a cross walk…I had the little green walking man. ps Korea, scooters are meant for the road and must follow car laws, people are meant for the sidewalks and crosswalks!

2. when I exited the elevator, 3 people came rushing at me to get in…all I wanted to do was get out. ps Korea, people coming out of elevators have the right of way.

3. the elevator stopped on 4 floors where no one got in or out, but someone must have had the need to press each of the 4 elevators to come up and get them for fear of waiting an extra minute for just one! ps Korea, use the stairs if you live on floor two and only call one elevator should you need it.

4. no one can walk straight!!!! when I am coming at you, stay where you are don’t cross in front of me. ps. Korea stay to the right except when passing.

5. the underground shopping mall is a good 90 degrees…turn on the air! ps. Korea, air conditioning is better to kill germs in very busy places (especially underground places)

6. my students are adults…throw away your own cups after class ps. Korea, pick up after yourselves.

7. cell phone store worker spit a gigantic loogie as he was walking right in front of me, not only did I almost pass out from the sound, but I had to lose my footing to avoid stepping in your saliva. ps. Korea…DON’T Hawk loogies

8. our hallway to our apartment is hot, humid and smells of cigarettes, even though it is a new building and there are signs everywhere that say don’t smoke. ps. Korea…respect your property!

9. students, ladies, men with man bags…my classroom chairs are limited and for the use of human rear-ends only, please remove your bag and place it on the floor! It will be ok. ps. Korea…it’s just a bag!

so now, as I sit in our cute little neighborhood coffee shop drinking my steamed milk… i’m doing my best to relax, unwind and Get Over It, maybe I should be drinking Soju instead.

 

3 hours later…see update

Q: What are the most frustrating cultural differences when living in South Korea? A: Every expat in Korea has their list and ours includes scooters treating crosswalks as optional elevator etiquette that ignores the concept of letting people exit first pedestrians walking in completely unpredictable patterns underground shopping malls kept at approximately the temperature of the sun and public spitting that will never stop being shocking. None of these things are dealbreakers. On a bad day every single one of them lands differently.

Q: Is it normal to have bad days as an expat living abroad? A: Completely and universally yes — and anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or has not lived abroad long enough. The honeymoon phase of expat life is real and so is the adjustment phase that follows. The key is being honest about the hard days without letting them define the whole experience. We love Korea deeply and today Korea drove us to the edge. Both things are true simultaneously.

Q: How do you cope with cultural frustrations while living in a foreign country? A: Find the nearest coffee shop order something warm and sit with it until it passes. Write a list if that helps. Call someone who understands. Remember why you came and what you have gained. Then get over it — because the alternative is giving the bad day more power than it deserves over an experience that is genuinely extraordinary.

Q: What should you know before moving to South Korea as an expat? A: Scooters follow their own rules everywhere including sidewalks and crosswalks. Elevator etiquette is different — people board before others exit. Personal space operates on different parameters than Western norms. Public spitting exists and you will need to develop a coping strategy. Smoking in non smoking areas happens. None of this prevents Korea from being one of the most rewarding places we have ever lived — but knowing in advance helps calibrate your expectations honestly.

Q: What do expats miss most about their home country when living abroad? A: The invisible cultural understanding that comes from being somewhere that operates the way your brain expects things to operate. The freedom of navigating daily life without constantly translating adjusting and recalibrating. On most days that challenge is genuinely exciting. On the hard days you just want to cross a crosswalk without a scooter nearly ending you.

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6 comments

  3. Yes, I can completely understand your frustration from all these! I had too perfect imagination for Busan. I thought it should be very clean and people all obey rules because it is so close to Japan. But I was so disappointed after we arrived here! There is rubbish almost everywhere while I couldn’t find rubbish bin almost anywhere.
    There is no air con anywhere. I sweated so much while waiting for metro. Why don’t they use air con in the metro stations?
    We still don’t have air con installed in our flat and it is just too hot and humid!
    I thought it would be high-tech place as Korea people are so proud of. But we had so much trouble getting internet working.
    I had to admit that I got the worst culture shock here even though I had lived in Cyprus, Finland and Hong Kong.
    But Busan does have charms as well. I started to get over it and find the beauty of this city. I’m sure I will have many such kind of bad days you just experienced. Just have to shout all these out and feel better, as you did. ;o)

    Look forward to meeting you soon and talk about Busan in real.

    Also the tips of travelling in HK. :o)
    April

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