This is not actually about Elsa. Mostly. It is about nightclub wristbands, a VW named Blu-ey and the quiet liberation that comes from learning to let things go.

Im feeling a little ice queeny right now so here’s my go at a blog…or something like it….and no, its not actually about Elsa…mostly.

On July 22, a mere 38 days ago when we committed to moving into this latest adventure, as we’ve done a few times now, we began the process of paring down our stuff. The whole movement toward minimizing what we have into what we legitimately need.

The purge, cleanse, dump or whatever it is has become the usual exciting part of the process that comes along with our decisions to hit the road, again and again.

I won’t bore you with the details of my overly sentimental former self (pre-Nicole) when I would have a hard time distancing myself from my nightclub wristbands or literally any momento of a time or moment. I had some amazing nightclub bands tho…..

Ultimately I was afraid I would forget that time or that somehow the memory was so tied to the physical things I had in my possession that the only way to hold on was to carry that “thing” with me, always….and so I did. Boxes of it…. taking up space in attics and closets.

Our first adventure to South Korea was the hardest. Donating iconic thrift store clothing that no doubt became a hit with the squads at the old folks home where they were likely reunited with their original donors….selling furniture, electronics….Ace of Base CD’s….all the hardest things to give up….like ever. This was a very new process to me….the art of well…..letting go.

Fast forward 11 years and I fancy myself a minimalist…which is easy, because I’m super cheap and don’t like to shop…but also because I find comfort in the concept of limiting my physical baggage to only what I truly need. In many ways it lightens the emotional baggage as well. No worries about the stuff (shit) and where it is, where to put it or when I’ll see it again. At one point, it came into view, served its purpose and then moved on…..and to me, this makes sense now. The purge of those things to move them onto their next phase is a liberation and lightening of a weight I might not have realized was ever there if I didn’t make the decision to rid myself of it.

I wont say its all easy. The cloths, the shoes, the old mildly used toothbrushes are all easy to donate. This time around I did have to get rid of “Blu-ey” (my VW) which wasn’t great but, in a way, the harder the separation, the more powerful the feeling of relief once it was done. It helped that it went to someone who said it was their “dream car” 😊

I won’t get philosophical (because i’m writing a blog with Frozen undertones which is silly), but I do think that as Nicole and I have grown older, this process of evolving our lives to give us the freedom and ability to be agile in our decisions has made the idea of keeping our collection of things to a modest amount. It helps us stay grounded in the moments we share with one another and less on the value we put into the ownership of our stuff. In some ways, I hope it helps inspire our kids to do the same as they grow and chose to value their experiences more than possessions.

Seems I can’t seem to let this topic go…circa 2011 (https://adventuresweseek.wordpress.com/2011/03/06/liberation-from-stuff-again/)

…and here in 2009 (https://adventuresweseek.wordpress.com/209/05/02/rid-of-it-all/)

Anyway…i’m all set here…thanks for indulging me.

Let the storm rage on,

Adam

Q: How do you start letting go of your possessions before a big move or trip? A: Start with the easy stuff — clothes you haven’t worn, duplicates, things that have been in boxes for years. The harder separations come later and they are worth sitting with. Adam’s rule has become simple: if it came into view, served its purpose and is now just taking up space — it moves on. The liberation that follows even the hardest goodbye consistently outweighs the loss.

Q: Does minimalism actually make you happier? A: For us — genuinely yes. Not because having less is inherently virtuous but because having less means worrying less about stuff and more about moments. Every time we have cleared out before a new adventure we have arrived lighter in every sense of the word. The emotional baggage really does seem to travel with the physical baggage in ways that are hard to explain until you experience it yourself.

Q: How do you get your kids on board with owning less? A: Mostly by modeling it yourself and making the process feel like an adventure rather than a loss. Our kids have watched us sell, donate and leave behind enormous amounts of stuff across multiple moves and what they have gained each time — new experiences, new places, more present parents — has always been worth far more than whatever went into the donation box.

Q: How do you decide what is worth keeping when you are downsizing? A: The question we ask is whether the thing serves our actual life or just the idea of a life we used to have. Sentimental items are the hardest — Adam spent years keeping nightclub wristbands and concert stubs before realizing the memories were never actually in the objects. The memories were already his. The stuff was just weight.

Q: How has living abroad multiple times changed your relationship with possessions? A: Completely and permanently. Our first move to South Korea was the hardest purge — iconic thrift store clothing, furniture, Ace of Base CDs. Everything felt impossible to release. Eleven years and multiple countries later the purge has become one of our favorite parts of the process. Each time we leave with less we arrive somewhere new with more capacity for what actually matters.