You shower naked before the pool. Every time. This is not negotiable and it is not optional for kids either. There are diagrams on the wall showing which parts you have to wash. Foreigners who skip it are the number one local complaint about tourists. Prepare your children in the car, not in the changing room.

English is everywhere. Universal, fluent, unaccented. You will not need a word of Icelandic and nobody expects you to try. Learning takk, which is thanks, is enough.

Rope lines and signs are not suggestions. People die at Reynisfjara beach and in geothermal areas every year, usually tourists who stepped over something. The ground genuinely is boiling in places. Say this to your kids once, properly, on day one.

Do not stop on the road for a photo. There are pull offs. Using the carriageway is the fastest way to be the person locals complain about, and it causes real accidents on single lane sections.

Stay off the moss. It takes decades to grow back and a footprint stays visible for years. Same with off road driving, which is straightforwardly illegal.

Tipping is not a thing. Service is included, nobody expects extra, and leaving money on the table reads as slightly odd rather than generous.

The currency is the Icelandic krona and you will barely see it. Iceland is the most cashless country I know of. Cards work everywhere, including the toilet at a petrol station and the honesty box at a farm. I would carry no cash at all.

Your card needs a PIN for fuel pumps. Unmanned pumps are the norm outside towns and some of them will not take a US card without a four digit PIN. Sort this with your bank before you fly. It is the single most common thing that goes wrong.

The tap water is the best you will ever drink and the hot water smells of sulphur. Both are normal. Never buy bottled water here. Fill up before every drive.

Type F sockets, 230 volts, same as the rest of Europe. If you are coming from the US bring a proper adapter and a multi plug, because Icelandic hotel rooms have famously few outlets.

Alcohol is only sold in Vinbudin. State shops, short hours, closed Sundays. The supermarket beer is non alcoholic and catches people out constantly. Buy at the airport arrivals duty free if you want any, everyone does.

Schengen but not the EU, and not the euro. Your EU roaming plan may not apply. Check before you land rather than after.

Two or three days, a stopover. Icelandair lets you break a transatlantic flight in Reykjavik for up to seven nights at no extra airfare. Do the Golden Circle, the Reykjanes peninsula and the city. This is the best value introduction to Iceland there is and I book it constantly.

Five to six days, the south coast out and back. Reykjavik, Golden Circle, then east along Route 1 to Vik, Skogafoss, Seljalandsfoss and if you have the legs Jokulsarlon. Turn around. This is the version I recommend to most families and nobody has ever come back disappointed.

Eight to ten days, the full Ring Road. Ten is comfortable, eight is tight, anything under eight is a car holiday and not a trip. Summer only. Two nights minimum in the north around Akureyri and Myvatn or you will resent the drive.

Twelve days plus, add the Westfjords or Snaefellsnes. Snaefellsnes is the cheap version of this, two days from Reykjavik and often called Iceland in miniature. The Westfjords are the real reward and they are a genuine commitment of driving.

The Blue Lagoon versus the local pool. This is the real question. The Blue Lagoon is beautiful, it is also a pre booked, timed, expensive spa built around a power station, and children under two are not allowed at all. Meanwhile every Icelandic town has a municipal geothermal pool with hot pots, slides and a lifeguard for a few dollars. Laugardalslaug in Reykjavik is enormous. Sky Lagoon is the middle option with the better view. My advice, do one nice lagoon and do local pools every other day, and if the budget is tight skip the Blue Lagoon entirely without guilt.

Seljalandsfoss and Skogafoss are worth the stop. You can walk behind one of them. Both are directly off Route 1 and both take twenty minutes.

Jokulsarlon and Diamond Beach are worth the drive from Vik. It is a long day out and back. Icebergs on a black beach is the picture your kids will show people.

Whale watching from Husavik beats whale watching from Reykjavik. If you are only ever in the southwest, do it anyway, but the north is a different level.

Skip the helicopter tours and the volcano flights unless money is genuinely no object. They are extraordinary. They are also the price of the rest of the week.

Skip the fermented shark as a meal. Try one cube at the Kolaportid flea market, laugh, move on. Nobody in Iceland eats it for dinner.

Layers, and a proper waterproof shell, in every month of the year. The wind is the thing, not the cold. Iceland in July can be twelve degrees and horizontal rain. Wool base layers, fleece, hard shell, waterproof trousers, hats. Rent or buy a car seat rather than fighting one through the airport.

Two nights minimum per base. Iceland tempts you into a new hotel every night and that is the fastest way to break a family. Reykjavik for three, Vik or Hvolsvollur for two, north for two. Unpack, breathe.

The town pool is the best kids activity in the country and it costs almost nothing. Warm water outdoors in the snow, slides, hot pots. Go in the evening like locals do. It fixes bad days.

Self cater more than you normally would. Book apartments or guesthouses with a kitchen. Bonus and Kronan for shopping, never the petrol station shop. This is the difference between an expensive trip and an unaffordable one.

Winter daylight is a real planning constraint. In December you have usable light from about eleven to four. That is one attraction and one drive, not three attractions. Plan the day around the light and everyone stays happy.

Iceland is hard for dogs. Import rules are strict, there is a quarantine, and Poppy would not be coming with us. If you travel with a dog, this is one of the few European countries where the answer is genuinely no.

Wind is the weather that ruins days, not snow. Icelandic forecasts lead with wind speed for a reason. Above about twenty meters per second, plans change.

Babies nap outside in prams in the cold. Outside cafes, in the snow, unattended. It is completely normal and it is not neglect. Do not call anyone.

There are almost no family surnames. People are listed in the phone book by first name, and children take a version of their father’s or mother’s first name. Your kids will find this fascinating for about a day.

Sixty percent of the country has no road at all. The interior is uninhabited highland. The Ring Road is a circle around the edge because the middle is not an option.