Our first Hypnobirthing class was 2 weeks ago and I honestly left the class pretty skeptical. People were asking me about it and I really couldn’t explain the point behind it. We did a little relaxation and image creation, it reminded me a lot of shivasana at yoga…except the teacher had us envision a kitchen and cutting a lemon, but when she explained about picking up the knife to cut the lemon, all I imagined was stabbing someone (I know, talk about agression) and I was totally distracted from that point on. We left class and I really wasn’t sure if it was a) worth the money and b) if I really wanted to return.
Then, I opened the book, Hypnopbirthing The Mongan Method, that accompanies the class, I read 3/4 of the book in one sitting…and my life, the way I look at Gavin and future pregnancies, the miracle of birth, is forever changed. Please don’t stop reading or begin rolling your eyes. I didn’t join a cult or have some out of body experience. I guess my eyes were just opened and I felt like I finally found what I had been looking for.
Here is the first paragraph I read that caught my attention
This child will never be physically born again, and its birth can never be duplicated. There are no other human beings in the world who could conceive this tiny person and bring him into the world. This is a once in a lifetime event, and it is only natural that you and your birthing companion are seeking a birthing that is as safe, satisfying and naturally comfortable as possible. ..helping you reach and awareness of your body as the most perfect instrument of nature- the vehicle through which your child will miraculously develop and enter into this world. Birthing is nature characterized at its best. It is the implementation of the highest power of life that ensures the survival of the human race. All other worlds of nature pale by comparison to the miracle of birth, and you both are at the heart of that wonderful miracle. Nature has been working with you from the very beginning of your pregnancy to prepare your body for this great wonder.At that moment, I was hooked. I have never given birth before, I have only seen it in the movies and from what friends and family and strangers have told me.. I have no idea what it is like to be in a hospital with your doctor and the path that your birth takes you. All I know is what I have seen in the videos they show us in class (which I am so incredibly amazed at how “ungory” and 100% not “gross” and truly incredible these videos are. The author began her research when she was pregnant with her first and she said, “I could not believe that a loving God would commit so cruel a hoax as to make us sexual beings so that we would come together in love to conceive and then make the means through which we would birth our children so excruciatingly painful.” The book talks a lot about fears and how it is the fears and anxiety we have that create the pain and stressors which makes the hormone catecholamine. This is where the pain comes from. Hypnobirthing teaches you to listen to your own body and to respond through breathing techniques and distractors which channel your energy and focus internally…once again very similar to yoga nidra. You breathe the baby down instead of push when you are told. Understanding that your body has surges (contractions) as a way to help the baby naturally move where they are intended to go and breathing with these surges instead of tensing up against them allows for a more calm, smooth and quick birth. ***Also, check out www.birthwithoutfear.com It is an awesome website with amazing stories of childbirth, education and of course mommies, daddies and babies.*** Another part of the book speaks about the family unit.
…that it is a natural extension of the sexuality of a man and a woman, and, therefore, we believe that birth is about them. It is about family fulfillment…the manner in which they welcome a new littler person into their family and into their lives, and it’s about accepting responsibility for achieving the safest and most comfortable birth for their baby. It’s about family-parents and their babies.Adam and I are now talking everyday about Gavin’s birth in a new way. Neither of us have any fear of “delivery” day and receiving Gavin into this world. We have spoken in depth about the first few moments in the birthing center when he arrives and about our first few weeks with him. We have already taken trips together to the store to dream about his room. Our birth plan is very simple, it involves the two of us being truly in-tune with one another, letting the breathing come easily due to practice, and experiencing this miracle in a most natural environment where Adam can receive his son (that sounds very biblical) and the three of us will be forever connected in such an organic way. This is the way nature intended for it to be, (ask the horses and dogs and squirrels and all the other animals who make themselves comfortable, relax and welcome their little offspring as miracles in secluded peaceful nests…or boxes or stalls) **I know this is where many of you say, things don’t always go as planned, or good luck with that, or all those other thoughts we have heard already, but at this stage in the game, we are so happy and focused on what we want this birth to be that we kindly ask you to remember that this is about the three of us…and that is all that matters** 8 1/2 weeks to go!
Related articles
- The many uses of HypnoBirthing (barakabirth.com)
- The life of a midwife: ‘The best part of my job is putting the new family to bed; it’s a beautiful sight’ (blogs.independent.co.uk)
- The violence of birth in modern medicine: often our first trauma (beyondmeds.com)
- A day on the Prairie…maternity shoot (adventuresweseek.com)
- Why I perservered with starting a Brooklyn Chapter of the Holistic Moms Network (willybmum.com)
Travel with your family
What are the most important things you learn as a parent?
That you will not do it perfectly and that is not the goal. That kids remember how they felt more than what they were given. That the hard seasons pass. And that showing up consistently matters more than any individual parenting decision you will ever agonize over.
How do you balance parenting with everything else in life?
Imperfectly and continuously. The balance shifts rather than stays fixed. Some seasons are work-heavy, some are kid-heavy, some are partnership-heavy. The goal is not equal distribution but intentionality about where attention goes and honesty about when the current distribution is not working.
What advice would you give to parents considering a major life change?
Talk to your kids honestly and earlier than feels comfortable. They handle truth better than they handle sensing that something is happening but not knowing what. And ask for their input even on decisions that are ultimately yours because being heard matters even when the outcome is not what they wanted.
How do kids adapt to big changes?
Better than most parents expect, especially when the adults around them are honest and stable. Kids take emotional cues from their parents. If the adults are anxious and secretive, kids become anxious. If the adults are clear and calm, kids adjust. The hardest changes are the ones parents are not settled about themselves.
What do you wish you had known before having kids?
That each child is entirely different and what worked for one will not reliably work for another. That the early years are harder and faster than anyone tells you. That the goal of parenting is to gradually work yourself out of a job. And that being present is more rare and more valuable than being perfect.
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As you said in the last line of your blog, “It’s about the three of you and that is all that matters”. I agree with you 100%!
Thanks Sue!!
So very well worded and written. Fear makes everything more complicated than it should be and knowledge can erase that fear. Knowing the actual biology of the process and the psychology as well will certainly make this blessed event be memorable on every level. “They” don’t call it a miracle for nothing. Enjoy this time and savor every bit of it. Loving you all, Aunt Judi
xxoo
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