These two lovelies are my Grandparents. I was very lucky, I had 5 Grandparents who loved me very much. Unfortunately, 3 of them passed on more than 15 years ago and I didn’t get the chance to make too many memories with them. My Gammy, Bippy and Grandfather. I do remember that my Gammy had a Vegetable Garden, made yummy tunafish and I remember her voice. My Bippy had a bingo room that my brother and I used to play in..the dobbers were a lot of fun to a 5 year old. My Grandfather bought us our first Nintendo and would stay at the big Marriott with the glass elevator. When we were young and he would visit we got to swim in the big Marriott pool and eat at Benihana.
Lucky for me, my loves, Grandma and Papa live just miles from my home. These two love birds rock my world.
Before I had Gavin, we were all together at dinner at Toojays, I was very pregnant and the waitress had me in tears telling me how lucky I was to be in my 30’s and still have my Grandparent’s nearby. These two swallow my heart every day, the love I have for them is explainable. They are the two most supportive and accepting people. They love me for me and love Adam as if he was their own. Now, with Gavin, my circle is complete and watching them interact with him takes my breath away.
Lucky for Gavin he has 5 Grandparents too! And two Great Grandparent’s!
My hope for him is that each one of them are Earthside to kiss and drown him in their love for many many years. I know as he grows each one of them will teach him about life and the joys of growth, family, love, support and strength. They will encourage him and help him to seek out all that his dreams bring forth.
Travel with your family
That you will not do it perfectly and that is not the goal. That kids remember how they felt more than what they were given. That the hard seasons pass. And that showing up consistently matters more than any individual parenting decision you will ever agonize over.
Imperfectly and continuously. The balance shifts rather than stays fixed. Some seasons are work-heavy, some are kid-heavy, some are partnership-heavy. The goal is not equal distribution but intentionality about where attention goes and honesty about when the current distribution is not working.
Talk to your kids honestly and earlier than feels comfortable. They handle truth better than they handle sensing that something is happening but not knowing what. And ask for their input even on decisions that are ultimately yours because being heard matters even when the outcome is not what they wanted.
Better than most parents expect, especially when the adults around them are honest and stable. Kids take emotional cues from their parents. If the adults are anxious and secretive, kids become anxious. If the adults are clear and calm, kids adjust. The hardest changes are the ones parents are not settled about themselves.
That each child is entirely different and what worked for one will not reliably work for another. That the early years are harder and faster than anyone tells you. That the goal of parenting is to gradually work yourself out of a job. And that being present is more rare and more valuable than being perfect.
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This was a wonderful tribute to all your grandparents. I was practically moved to tears. Gavin is, indeed, a lucky young man. Mom and I will cherish our family forever. I may not show my appreciation as much nor be able to communicate the way I want to, but rest assured, the love we have for Adam and Gavin is also without boundaries. I will never figure how the two of you, as well matched as you are, were matched….short of to say that there was divine intervention. As lucky as we are with your mom’s health the way it is so nicely developing, that’s how lucky we are to have Adam as a most important part of our family. Gavin is very lucky to have parents who are so carrng and family oriented.
I would have put this on “Adventures We Seek” but I couldn’t find out where or how. I love you Piks.
Dad
You and your family are beautiful. Thanks for the loving words. Gavin is fortunate that he has such a loving family. We will always cherish you, sweethearts.